The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
