Got a toothbrush?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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