who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
