By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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