I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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