Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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