The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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