I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You were trust falling into bushes
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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