If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
