I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
