"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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