its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
