you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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