Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
