Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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