508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
