I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
