i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
