I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
