I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
