btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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