I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
