there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
