so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
