ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
