I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
