in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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