omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
