my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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