i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
PANTIES FOUND
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