I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
