oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
