I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this boner is exhausting
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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