Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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