you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
