1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My dick has a subreddit
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
