Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
