I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just invented taco cereal.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
