I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
