I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
