he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
