another moral hangover. fuck.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
