Whod you bang
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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