i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
