These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Damn victory sex feels great
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
