soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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