We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
