My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
