I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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