My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
